About Us? Kurła, sure.

A character who carries the ultimate burden of being a True Pole – because someone has to hold the entire nation on his shoulders. He is the guardian of customs, morality, and the purity of the Polish language.

He draws his knowledge about the past from Sienkiewicz's books and "Czterej Pancerni and the Dog" show. About the present from the evening news. And about the future directly from the most powerful engine of reality: chłopski rozum (Polish peasant wisdom) - which means strictly from his mind.

Taking care of his brother-in-law Janush (who might also be his nephew... or maybe a cousin), Wujo (Unkie in Polish) must constantly face the tragic reality of how young generations fail at being good Poles.

Do you think it’s easy to know everything better than everyone else?

Do you think it’s not exhausting for this honorable man to constantly remember that his opinion is the most important and always final?

It is a true service to the Motherland to stand guard over his own infallibility!

Being Unkie Roman is a full-time job. He must remember things the youth have forgotten:

• To instinctively dislike the Swedes (for invading us in the 17th century).
• To raise his hands in surrender at the sound of the German language (just to survive and start another uprising later).
• To memorize every traditional culinary recipe and treat any deviation from his grandmother's standards as a personal insult and an excuse for a brutal conflict.

But what hides beneath this armor of pure Polish steel, which takes the shape of a fishing vest?

You probably want to hear that deep down, he has a soft interior. A big heart, gentleness, and emotional depth?

HA! Nonsense. A true Polish Unkie cannot afford such cheesy things. It is no secret that a real Polish man does not show such emotional nonsense – it is basically forbidden by law.

Thanks to this absolute mental toughness, Wujo can spend his evenings as the Witcher... uhm... We mean: Watcher... He goes to his neighbor Henryk’s house to watch reruns of Adam Małysz's ski jumping victories from 2001.

Being a Polish Unkie is a challenge, a service, and a sacrifice. We hope you all appreciate the massive effort Roman puts into meeting your expectations.

It’s not easy being the representative of the younger generation in a household ruled by an old, traditional despot. But Janush endures. He also pranks. A lot. It takes a certain kind of bravery to constantly break Unkie Roman’s ancient rules and customs—even if he usually does it completely by mistake, out of pure negligence, or just simple stupidity.

He tirelessly tries to balance Unkie’s chłopski rozum (Polish peasant wisdom—a dangerously powerful cognitive force) with a solid dose of modern reality. To put it simply, he is an absolute expert in exercises in futility.

You would probably like to think of him as the "sane one" here. The voice of reason. Well... think again. Janush has his triggers. There are moments and deviations where he acts so bizarrely that even Unkie Roman suddenly appears calm, average, and completely normal.

In his free time, Janush practices linguistic sadism. He digs up the most wicked, unpronounceable Polish tongue-twisters, creating unexpected clusters of letters just to make life harder for everyone. He proudly presents them to the world, preaching the absolute supremacy of Polish grammar—even though he doesn't entirely understand the declensions himself.

Sometimes, this passion goes too far. He puts on his onion hat, wraps a towel around his neck as a cape, and transforms into The Grammarsky Polisher – a Polish Grammar Superhero. He streams his live crusades on the internet to a massive audience of 14 people (13 of which are bots from Bangladesh). Oh, and this superhero wields a shield made entirely of house slippers. Why? Because somehow, he is a slipperphile (a very rare and strictly uncurable disorder). He is also the proud CEO of the Polish Brother-in-Law Organisation, in which he is currently the only member.

Let's be honest... everyone has a brother-in-law like Janush. Maybe his name isn't Janush, but you definitely know the drill. He has honest eyes, he really wants to be helpful, and he sounds like he knows exactly what he’s talking about. His intentions are always pure. And then... it turns out his facts are completely made up. If this is how he helps, it would be better if he didn't help at all. Did he think his grand plans through? Maybe he did, but in the end, it turned out like it always does.

Still, you have to support Janush. He carries the heavy burden of teaching The Polishness to the world. He took on the challenge of showing exactly how much adversity and how many unexpected turns an average Polish brother-in-law must face every single day.

All hail, Janush.

Rumor has it that his passive participation in this project significantly raises the average intellectual level on set. To be fair, Łapek is mainly focused on efficiently catching edible props that hit the floor—and intensely begging for the ones that haven't dropped yet. But no one ever blames him for anything, because he is, by definition, a goodboi.

He is a furry, beloved expert at getting tangled under your feet, lying down in the absolute most inconvenient places imaginable, and barking at the exact moments when total silence is required. Despite all this, his patronage over the project is irreplaceable. Honestly, his acting is the only thing that looks natural on camera. Plus, he never forgets his lines. Isn't that right, Łapek is a goodboi?

The entire technical department rolled into one person. He is responsible for holding this whole visual endeavor together. Because he is currently actively wanted by Z.U.S. (the terrifying Polish Social Insurance Institution), he strictly refuses to reveal his true identity.

He possesses the incredibly rare gift of respawning and is currently on his umpteenth incarnation. Yes, he is the one who usually takes the physical beatings (mostly with a meat tenderizer) from Janush and Unkie Roman, and quite often, he tragically loses his life on set. Luckily, three days later, he always respawns in front of the local Żabka convenience store with a hot dog in his hand, ready to return to work.